


The Criminal Induction of One Zoomer

by darktiger57



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M, FAHC, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Multi, ace!jeremy, nb OC, no one is not queer, trans!Jack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktiger57/pseuds/darktiger57
Summary: Fiona Nova just moved to Los Santos looking to start her new life, looking to become one of those important people she sees on the news. Then one day at her dead end job at the gas station she gets her chance.
Relationships: Fiona Nova/Oc, Gavin/Michael/Lindsay/Meg, Jack Pattillo/Geoff Ramsey, Jeremy Dooley/ Matt Bragg
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Fiona Nova hates her job. She hates working odd hours. She hates working normal hours. She just hates her job. Not many people would want to work at a gas station, but having just moved to Los Santos it wasn’t like she had many other options. In the city of important people, and important crimes, Fiona felt so unimportant, a thought that was perpetrated by her asshole boss. Tim, the manager of the gas station, was an absolute creep. So much of a creep that Fiona started carrying her brass knuckles with her to work. Just in case Tim tried anything funny. 

Today was not going to be a good shift. Most days she works with someone else, but whoever was supposed to cover her break called in sick that day. She was prepared for a long day with no break. She clocks in exactly on time. No earlier, no later. She puts on an apron, and she stands behind the counter, and waits. It’s a slow day both fortunately and unfortunately for Fiona. She has plenty of time to sit down in between customers, which unfortunately also means plenty of time to sit in her thoughts. 

‘How am I ever going to make it in this city if I’m constantly tired outside of work?’ She stocks the snacks on the shelves. The box of P’s & Q’s is nearly empty. It’s like they’re constantly running out of them. ‘Where am I going these days? Am I stagnating?’ She takes the box back to the storage room that doubles as the crew room. ‘How can I have time to do what I want to do in life if Tim is constantly making me work these ridiculous hours?’ She walks back to the counter, just in time for three customers to walk in. Masked customers. Some sort of red bird, a bear, and a green crosshatch. 

“Welcome to 7-11. Our pizza slices are currently on sale for 2 for 2$.” Fiona smiles at them, and sits back behind the counter. 

The three grab handfuls of P’s & Q’s before going up to the counter. Fiona forces a smile, already thinking about how she would have to restock those so soon. The stuff their pockets full after paying. 

“Hey before you close that register do you mind handing over all the cash?” The Red Bird has a kind woman’s voice behind the mask. Fiona glances up from counting out the change to see that the Bird and Bear have guns trained on her while Green watches the door with a sniper out. 

“Of course. Anything for a paying customer.” Fiona drawls. She rolls her head back and considers trying to reach the panic button. “Ehhh fuck Tim.” 

“Who’s Tim?” Green asks from the door.

“The manager here. He’s a real creep.” 

“Yeah. I’ve noticed.” Bird cocks her head. 

Fiona narrows her eyes at Bird, trying to figure out if she’s seen them before. “That’s crazy.” Fiona hands over the now full bag to Bear. 

“You aren’t going to recognize me. Though I do recognize you.” Bird lowers her gun. 

“Here kid. Take this.” Bear slides a card across the counter, the card is completely white except for a very small phone number. 

“You should leave before I have to hit this panic button.” Fiona shoos them out. “Wouldn’t want the real criminal getting wind that I helped you.” 

“Tim?” Green asks. 

“Yes Tim. Is your mask covering your ears or something?” 

“He’s always like this.” Bear drags Green out the door. Bird tips her head before following them out. 

“I guess I should get ready to deal with the cops then.” Fiona sighs. She gets out her phone and sends Tim a text. **Hey we were just robbed.** She sits down on her stool and waits for the cops. 

Several minutes later three officers burst through the door, guns raised. Two of them do a sweep of the store while the other turns his gun towards Fiona. 

“Woah. I’m the clerk. I called you guys.” Fiona puts her hands up, the white card now carefully tucked into her pocket snuggly against her brass knuckles. 

The cop lowers his gun and narrows his eyes at her. He holsters his gun but keeps his hand resting on his belt. “We need to ask you some questions.” 

“Then I’ll give you some answers.” Fiona lowers her hands. She gestures for them to follow her. “The security footage is back here. I can’t access it so you’ll have to wait for my boss to arrive.” She stops in the crew room/storage room/security room. 

“Explain what happened.” 

“Three masked people came in. One was wearing a red bird mask, one was a like bear? Mask, and the third one had like a green flannel mask. They looked a little ridiculous honestly.”

“Please save the commentary for whatever _friend_ you tell about this.” 

Fiona narrows her eyes. “They bought a bunch of food, stuffed their pockets with it, then while I was counting out their change they pulled guns on me and demanded the money. I was too far from the panic button to be able to hit it at the time. I gave them the money. Then they left.” 

“Anything else?”

“Nope.” Fiona thinks of the card that feels like it’s burning a hole in her pocket. “Nothing that I can think of.”

“Did any of them speak to you?”

“Well duh they had to demand the money.” Fiona watches the officer flex his fingers over to his gun. “The bear one spoke. It was some dude.” 

“Thank you for your time.” The officer nods at the door. “You can leave now.” 

“Glad I could help officers.” Fiona puts on her most sarcastic customer service voice, before grabbing her bag and ducking out the main door of the gas station. ‘Shit I forgot to clock out. Oh well. This was technically a traumatic experience. Tim can get over it.’ 

She gets into her car, a shitty little sedan, and drives back to her apartment. She goes up her three flights, only then realizing how utterly exhausted she is. She empties her pockets, dropping her keys in the bowl. She pulls out the white card and runs her finger along the edge. 

“What kind of secrets do you keep?” She murmurs. She yawns and tosses the card onto her kitchen cabinet. “I’ll figure that out later.” 

She barely manages to get out of her work clothes before crashing down into her bed and falling into an eventful sleep. 

Her dream starts with her falling. Endlessly falling. She moves her arms through the rippling air. She notices next to her, falling with her is the man in the green mask from earlier. He’s laughing. Not any bad laugh, but a laugh that sounds like he’s squeaking with joy. She can’t help but smile as they fall together. Soon there are several people falling with her laughing, all laughs of what seems like joy. She sees the bird, the bear, and several other people she doesn’t recognize. ‘Maybe they were customers once.’ 

They all fall together until slowly, one by one, they seem to fizzle out of sight. Eventually Fiona is falling alone, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the white card with the number. She lands back in her bed, awake, and wondering how the card got into her hands. 

She looks at the clock next to her. 3am. She sets the card down on her bedside table, and rolls over to go back to sleep. 

“Tomorrow.”


	2. Chapter 2

Fiona wakes up with a massive pain in her thigh. She groans and rolls out of bed. As she tries to stand her leg wavers and she falls back onto her bed. 

“What the fuck??” She digs around in her pocket and pulls out her brass knuckles. “I have got to stop falling asleep with these.” She mutters. She lets out a yawn as she stretches up. A white card flutters down from her arm, it had apparently stuck to her in the middle of the night. She picks it up. 

“What is up with this thing?” She stands, and walks to the kitchen, while flipping the card around in her hands. She sets it down on the kitchen cabinet. She starts to make breakfast before being interrupted by her phone ringing. 

She glances at the caller id. “Fucking Tim.”

She sighs and picks up the phone. “Hey, what’s up?” 

“Don’t bother coming back. Your performance has been unsatisfactory. Also you didn’t clock out yesterday.” 

“Three people pointed guns at me yesterday and you’re firing me?” 

“Return your apron and shirt before you pick up your last paycheck.” Tim hangs up. 

“FUCK.” Fiona throws her phone across the room onto her couch. She glances at her bottle of fireball, then glances at the clock. 9am. “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.” She takes a shot. 

While she’s feeling it go down she looks at the white card sitting there, as if it hadn’t caused her so many problems. She rolls her head back and groans. She wanders over to the couch and grabs her phone, its new crack barely visible against all the other cracks. 

“512-555-2248” Fiona punches the numbers into her phone, her hand shaking more and more visibly with each press. 

A dial tone plays before a robotic woman speaks. “The number you are trying to reach does not exist.” 

Fiona sets her phone down on the counter, and squeezes her eyes shut. “Of course. Why would I ever trust anything a criminal gives me?” She downs another few gulps of fireball, and grabs her running shoes. She slides her brass knuckles into her pocket and goes out her door, locking it behind her. The door to the empty apartment across the stairs from her hangs wide open, with boxes stacked up outside of it. The new neighbor must be moving in.

She heads out the door, plugs in one earbud, and wraps the other wire around her ear to give the impression that she has both in. If anyone is looking for a target she would look easy, and she needs someone to take her anger out on. She turns and begins jogging down the sidewalk, eventually going faster to a full run. 

Her mind drifts to the masked robbers from the day before, “I do recognize you.” She whispers, thinking about the person behind the bird mask. If they knew who she was, was she safe in her apartment anymore? Three organized criminals recognized her, ‘But that could be a good thing.’ she thinks. She didn’t snitch, she didn’t do anything to stop them, hell she even made one of them laugh. Surely they wouldn’t try anything. 

Fiona feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She quickly pauses her music and keeps running, just listening. She increases the speed of her steps, while shortening the distance her legs go, running at the same speed, but with a different pattern. She heards steps behind her falter before finding her rhythm. She glances at the buildings she passes, looking at the windows, waiting for one with no backlight so she can see who is behind her. Eventually she sees a shaggy looking man following her a few feet back. 

She smirks and leads the man down a side alley, she crosses streets, eventually she rounds a corner, slides behind a dumpster, and waits for the man who was following her. He enters the alley, and pauses for a moment when he sees that she has disappeared. 

He steps back for a moment, and glances in the direction they’d come from. Fiona leaps up over the dumpster, and launches herself onto him, knocking him over. She rears her arm back, brass-knuckles gleaming on her fingers. 

“Who are you? Why are you following me?” She growls.

“Fiona Nova. We got your call. We have an opportunity for you.” The fear that had flashed on his face just a moment ago quickly gets covered up by a slick confidence. 

“That’s my name, not yours.” She punches. Hard. His head knocks back into the concrete and the man’s expression slips.

“That damn hurt.” He groans and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Answer my questions or it’ll happen again.” She rears her arm back again. 

“Wait wait don’t!” He flinches back. “My name is Gavin Free. You may know me better as the Golden Boy of the Fakes.” 

“Fuck.” Fiona whispers, before falling back and releasing Gavin. 

“We got your call. I’m here to take you to the others.” Gavin stands and brushes himself off. “Shall we get going?”

“Fuck it.” Fiona stands, and de-brasses her knuckles. “Let’s go.” 

He leads her back to a little scooter with about a hundred mirrors on it. He hops on and she climbs on behind him. 

“Wow we’re so cool.” She snarks. 

“Yeah we are.” Gavin enters the road, and then the scooter zips off faster than Fiona thought possible. 

They drive to the northwestern part of downtown. Gavin pulls to a stop in front of an impressive large white building. He slowly drives into the garage beneath the building. He parks and turns off the car. He starts to get out, but pauses for a moment.    
“Enter after me. Or else they may start shooting.” 

“Wait I thought you were sent to come get me?”

“Yeah but I wasn’t supposed to be back for another week.” And with that he gets out of his car and walks to the elevator. “Are you coming?” 

“Yeah yeah. But why not tell them you’re coming back early?” 

“I didn’t think of that.” 

“Gavin. You’re a criminal mastermind, you can smooth talk master criminals, and hell from half the stories I hear you aren’t a bad shot either, but you didn’t think to send a text?” Fiona giggles. “You’re a fucking idiot.” 

“Ohh whot?? Really? You beat me with metal knuckles and now you’re calling me stupid? Oh what did I do to get put on this?” 

“Obviously something good if it’s for me. I am a badass y’know.” 

The elevator dings. The doors slide open and Fiona and Gavin enjoy a quiet ride up to the penthouse with the lovely dulcet elevator tones of  **Just Bonkers** by  **Mottram [Children]** . 

“This is a good song.” Fiona notes, awkwardly as the elevator seems to go up forever, because elevator rides with people you either don’t know or barely know are always awkward. It’s a tight enclosed space after all. No matter if they were just cracking jokes and laughing earlier, now you’re in an elevator with someone and you barely know them. Are they the type to fart in the elevator? Maybe Gavin has smelled bad this entire time and she just hasn’t noticed because they had the windows cracked in the car? Does she smell bad? She did just finish a run so she’s sweaty. That’s probably stinky? 

“Fiona?” Gavin taps her on the shoulder. 

“What?” Fiona jumps. 

“The elevator is open.” He nudges her out into a small hallway. “Through this door, you life will change forever.” 

“That sentence didn’t make sense” 

“Yes it did.” Gavin swings the door open and steps through, a wide grin staring down the barrels of 3 guns. “Hey guys! I’m back. Mission was much shorter than expected.”

“How the fuck does a tail go faster than expected?” A man with thick curly brownish-red hair tucks his gun back into the pocket of his jacket. 

“Well I noticed him following me so I trapped him and beat this shit out of him until he told me who he was.” Fiona steps into the room. 

“Oooh Gavin I can’t wait to hear how you fucked this one up.”A man with purple and orange hair laughs. 

The red-haired woman in front of Fiona sets their gun on the table next to them. “So you’re here early? Good that means we have another person for game night so we can drag Geoff out of his office more often.” 

Another red-haired, but much shorter haired, woman steps forward. “Well if you’re already here we might as well get introductions out of the way. I am Jack aka the Pilot.” 

“Michael aka Mogar,” 

“Lindsay aka the Wild Card”

“Uhh  _ The  _ Wild Card?? Can I get your autograph?” Fiona rummages around in her pockets for a pen. “I’ve been a fan of you ever since I moved to Los Santos. Your styles of raging are something special. And your skill with encryption codes? Fantastic. “

“Oh it’s uh nice to meet a fan.” Lindsay smiles. 

“I’m Jeremy aka  _ Definitely not  _ Rimmy Tim.” 

“They’re totally Rimmy Tim.” Michael rolls his eyes.

“I’m Trevor aka The Boss Man.” Trevor says before starting the Mission Impossible Theme. 

“What does Mission Impossible have to do with being the boss?” Fiona asks as everyone around her seems to just burst into song, all dong off-key renditions of the dun dun dun-dun dun dun dun-dun dun dun dun-dun.

“Deedelooo. Deedelooo. Deedeloo. Du-du. Dun dun I’m Matt.” 

“Can I call you Myatt?” Fiona jumps in, breaking everyone out of song. 

“Myatt.” Matt says, followed by a chorus of everyone else in the room saying Myatt.

“Ok guess I’m calling you Myatt,” This Myatt also echoed throughout the room.

“And I’m Alfredo, also known as…” He pauses for dramatic effect. “The Sauce.” 

The largest door at the end of the hallway opens. A tall, tired man steps out. He scratches his moustache and smiles a smile that crinkles his eyes. He rises from his slouch and clasps his hands together. “Ahh. Miss Nova-”

“Fiona.”

“Alright. Fiona. If you would step into my office, and consider from this point forth a job interview.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres hoping it won't be another like 2 months before the next chapter

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all I'm back and super excited to get back to writing fahc stuff.


End file.
